Take me to Church`

Do you ever get those insufferable ear worms? You know what I'm talking about. When you have one line (or a couple of lines) of a song stuck on repeat inside your head? Well I get them.....a lot. Just ask one of my friends, they'll tell you all about them. They can be really annoying at times, just drowning on, forever and ever, the same words redundantly rampaging through my mind. I can't ever seem to escape them till some new song comes on to trigger a new ear worm. In the past few days I have had one particular ear worm. It is the hit song "Take me to Church" by Hozier. If you do not know this song, then that's okay, just know that it is pretty sacrilegious in nature. The particular lines of the song that are currently stuck in my head is the chorus, which reads like this....

Take me to Church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins
and you will sharpen your knife
offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life.

The reason that I bring this up at all in the first place is because this is a problem that the Church faces today, particularly, but not limited to, Europe/western culture in general. The Gospel message is supposed to be one that gives life to the lifeless and healing to the broken. Instead, people view the church's message as poison and death. We're supposed to be life givers, but we are viewed as the MOD squad. I already, in my young life, have had too many stories of the failings of the church driving people away. In particular, pastor's kids. There is such a high standard set upon a pastor and his family that 9 times out of 10, the child of a pastor ends up acting out in extreme ways, and in many cases, falling away from the Church entirely given time.

Just some thoughts about a song. What do you guys think?

Some Poems I wrote

Hey guys, over the past week or so I've written some poems that I'd like to share with you all. I would absolutely love to hear what you think. If you get the meaning from them, then that's great. If you are confused at all, let me know. I'd be more than happy to share my thoughts about why I wrote them and what they are about. Enjoy friends.

P.S. "Coffee" is kind of long.

Ice

white. All is white.
There is no sound

hushed silence surrounds

my covered ears

there’s no one around me

only crystalline trees

give me any sort of fraternity

The snow falls

drifting, like a man stranded at sea

letting the wind take him e’re it goes

but sooner or later, falling, falling, falling

into nothingness once more

each flake different

yet in the end no difference could be made

A path lies before me

trees overhanging

my coat is wrapping me in warmth

my boots are dragging through the unmarked snow

the flakes cling to me, like frozen memories

The trees themselves are reminiscent of the mind

forever encased in ice

never to look different

the sap within, solidified, unchanging

so too are memories

forever enveloped by ice

to preserve them

to keep them always visible

to keep them forever solidified, unchanged

Freezing the mind, solid

while all around, there is naught but white

a hushed silence surrounds

There are none around me

I stand, frozen, with statues of ice as fraternity

Coffee

Let me paint you a picture

you’re in a small coffee shop

the sounds of the hiss and pop

of the air pot topping off

with fresh, smooth, coffee

the murmur of different conversations surrounds you

you hear about a new born baby

of a woman who’s thinking maybe,

she has made a mistake with the man she chose after all

you hear plans of hitting up the mall,

you see people taking instagram pictures of pumpkin lattes and the beautiful fall weather

The barisita behind the counter has a man bun

messily tied up behind his head to keep it out of his face

his hipster beard is reminiscent of the lumbersexual memes you see on Facebook

but his coffee is second to none

Starbucks has nothing on this small town coffee shop

that the barista started with his own time, energy,and resources

He brings me a steaming hot cup

the brown liquid inside still has a few air bubbles

from the strong flow of the air pot

which was freshly filled but minutes ago

little do I know,

that I am that cup

when he was creating His brew,

He was actually creating me anew

My soul has a hard case

it is burnt, it is charred

it is beyond recognition from what it once was

A mockery of what I used to be

My experiences have hardened me

They were the ones that burned me

My mistakes, my mis-ques, my failings.

It all adds up to a dark brown shell,

with seemingly nothing left to give

The Barista grinds me up, breaking apart my shell, taking away my very essence

I know it. My time has come

This is the end

Everything I've done, everything I've said

has led me to where I am today

useless and broken

no words left to be spoken

never to be woken again

from this breaking point in which I sit.

I am nothing but a fine powder now.

He puts me in whitewashed walls,

clearly to be discarded and forgotten, once and for all

I can not reform this soul of mine

it is beyond repair, what could I do?

mend every singular grain with glue?

try to knit back every sinew?

I would if only I knew

how.

But alas I do not

so this existence in my white tomb shall be all that I am

broken, unrecognizable, even from the wretch that I was before.

At least with my hard shell I could bounce off people, hurting them in the wreckage that is my life

but now?

Now I am a soft, fine powder. broken. useless. unmade.

Now scalding water burns me

pours over me

drowns me

I cannot breath

The heat is too much

I have no crutch to stand on

not even my broken soul will remain

it will disappear

washed away by the flood of this scalding water,

ripping all that I am away from me

Pulling my spirit with it, leaving behind the broken shell of my soul

But wait, what is this?

Is this purifying me?

Pulling away all the hate and scorn that I held

when the scorching water came, my spirit swelled

and was pulled forth from my broken shell

which wasn't my essence, but rather my walls

that I put between who I was and who I really am

and my spirit swam in the dark, rich water that dripped down

into a cup, one that overflows, it seems

constantly with the combination of water and spirit

and I am finally made useful once more

I thought I was broken, but I have been made whole

melded with the water that was heated with the coals

of loving mercy

This drink, yes, is bitter, but then again, thus is life

it is filled with struggle and strife, that strangles and stymies

but it is also filled with soothing water

it refreshes, it is joyous

it bubbles and pops with love and kindness and hope

Thus is my cup

Bitter yet refreshing

A beautiful combination

an invigorating brew

Made by a barista

in a small coffee shop

the hissing and the mouse-like murmur of people in the background

Following God's Will

Well my absence has been a very long one indeed. Has it been 6 months since my last post?? I can't even remember! What a crazy, wild ride the past few months have been though. I have witnessed significant growth within myself through out this whole year really. Studying abroad is always a life changing experience, but the months after have been just as impactful.

I guess I'm just stalling at this point because I'm not really sure necessarily what I want to write about in this blog post. I see it as obligatory, given my lengthy absence. I guess I'll go in the direction of listen to God's direction in one's life though, since that is something that has been impacting me the most recently.

I feel as though listening to God is different for everyone. For some, He speak to them through images. For other people, God speaks to them through the mouths of family and trusted friends. For me though, God speaks to me through peace. Where I feel the most peace is where God is calling me. That is what happened to me two years ago. (Oh lordy, did this story really happen two years ago already????)

I was at Camp Hebron on New Years day, celebrating with fellow summer staff members at our "Staff Reunion". While I was there I knew for sure that I was going to be at camp the next summer. I had it all planned out after all. I would start before my senior year of High school, and I would work at camp until the summer before my senior year of college. Godd plan right? Sure it is. And I know many other people who in fact worked at Camp joyfully for 5 years, (or 10 in some cases. *cough cough* Caleb *cough*) and God blessed them immensely through that. However, it was not in the cards for me. Despite all my best laid plans, God had other ideas.

Getting back to the story. I had my interview for the upcoming summer with Curt, then the Summer Staff Director, and I felt pretty confident that Camp was where God wanted me....kind of. I went thorugh the rest of the night enjoying the company of the many dear friends I had made over the previous 3 summers. I went to bed with much bliss in my heart. However, the next morning I woke up and began to truly think, "Is camp where God wants me this summer?" Throughout the rest of the morning and afternoon I began doubting that I was supposed to be at camp. Something didn't feel right. I was not at peace. As I was driving away from Camp Hebron I thought back to the end of my first summer in 2010. That memory was one of my older brother and Sister talking to me. They had just finished their final summers at Camp Hebron. My sister turned back to me and said, "It's weird to think that I'm never going to be coming back here as a summer staff member."

Getting back to the actual story (Sorry I keep trailing off), I thought of what my sister had said three years prior and it struck me that I was experiencing that same feeling. I knew that then and there, I would not be coming back to Camp Hebron as a summer staff member that next summer, if ever.

Because of that decision I ended up being the youth intern at Ashburn Presbyterian Church, where I grew immensely and gave me so much valuable experience in the field of youth ministry. I spent the next two summers working at Ashburn. The crazy thing is, when I first heard about the internship at Ashburn, I felt an immediate peace about that being where God wanted me to be. And it absolutely, 100% was where God wanted me to be. No questions about it.

I'm not saying that god would not have used me just as much at Camp Hebron as in Ashburn, but I know that it was incredibly beneficial for me to be in Ashburn the last two summers.

That being said, following where God's will is leading you is so incredibly worth it. It is really scary at times. Sometimes He will take you into a situation that is so terribly unknown to you. But the growth that comes from it is what makes it, in the end, worth it. I would then urge you to discover just how God speaks to you. When you have, listen for those times when He does speak to you, then follow what He says. Like I've said so many times in this post, it is worth it.

Blessings,
Snades

When I lose my patience

Have you ever had one of those moments where someone around you, generally a complete stranger, has some sort of mannerism that just absolutely drives you nuts? Or just having to deal with someone just pulls at every thread of your patience? As a Barista at a coffee shop, I have to deal with that on a weekly basis. Some days I just do not want to have to deal with making people drinks, and generally on those days, it's super busy. Naturally. It is awful annoying to have to put up with people sometimes. Often times, when I'm at the library, making coffee, I just want to hurl my books at people and say, "Leave me alone! I just want to relax. I don't want to make yet another Caramel Macchiato!" Or even now, as I sit writing this blog in the library (Not at work thankfully), instead of studying for my impending adolescent psych exam, there is someone who is sitting across from me, obnoxiously chewing her gum for all in close proximity to hear...ergo, me. But despite the fact that I get annoyed by these people, I am supposed to love them fully and be as genuine as I can with them. I am going into the field of youth ministry, where I need to be able to give fully of myself to others, even if the people I have to give myself to annoy me sometimes. We are called to love unconditionally, without expectation of reciprocation. Every time I start to loose patience at the coffee shop, or while I procrastinate studying, I must check myself. I think, "I still need to love them anyway".

This is just something I muse upon often while having to deal with people.

Sorry this blog post seems a bit unorganized, but then again, my mind is a bit unorganized. It's quite full of adolescenty psychy type stuff.

peace, and love to you and to everyone you meet :)
Snades

A response.

So today, as I was sitting in my Music History Class, I was clearly not paying attention to the Professor. Instead I was on Facebook, perusing the News Feed, when I saw that my friend Cooper had posted something on his blog, Breakfast of Champions. I read his post and I wanted to write about it too.

First, you should read his post....http://coopergrimm.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/a-call-for-acceptance/


After reading this, I can honestly say I could not agree more. We so often today get caught up in who's right and who's wrong, especially the church. What happened to all the verses in the Bible that talk about Not judging your brother, because Jesus is gonna take care of that!?!?? Seriously, we just sit in our pews and cast judging eyes upon everyone who we think is not "Christian" enough. We ourselves are above reproach like that, merely because our sins are covered up by all the masks that we put upon them. In reality, I am just as messed up as any coked up sex addict out there. But we continue to judge and oppress others, especially the gay community. We don't oppress those who sleep with their daughters, read Leviticus 18 sometime, nearly as much as we oppress homosexuals. Sure, we'll send those pedophiles to jail, and sure, they'll be on a a watch list the rest of their lives, but are we trying to pass laws to deny them service like the Jim Crow laws of old? Are we denying them entrance into our churches? Are we picketing Military Funerals because of them (Freaking West Borough Baptist....I really do not like them at all?) The answer to all those questions is a simple "No". The Church is Hypocritical.

Anyway, I got on a serious tangent there. We need to simply love everyone we come into contact. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to enjoy everything that they do or necessarily like them at all, but we need to be loving. Showing them kindness, patience, and everything else laid out in I Corinthians 13. Honestly, I don't care too much right about now whether Homosexuality is a sin or not. That's not what needs to be discussed right now. What the church needs to be determining is whether or not they are actually extending Love to them, along with everyone else in the world. I think that the church, myself included, does a really poor job of loving everyone. If they are different, then they are judged. That's not alright. Seriously, I feel like I'm a broken record with this, but all you need is love. Anyway, I agree with Cooper. Something needs to change. We need to begin speaking out in our Churches. Supporting them. Loving them. Loving everyone that we meet. Something needs to change.

Tune in next week for a post about Slavery.

Peace.
Snades

Maybe the Hippies had it right...

Well folks, it's been a while. Sorry. It's been a busy 2 month period getting settled back into American life. But I'm back, hopefully for good now. I must say, I'm still kind of stuck on this whole Love mantra right now. What else is new right? But really, I've been thinking about the implications if everyone truly loved one another. We would have no need of bullets or politics or war or any of that. I wrote a poem this morning. I wanted to turn it into a song, and I might yet, but it would need some severe meter tweaking. So I just left it in it's free verse state. I hope that you read this for sure. But beyond that, I hope that this leaves you something to think about. How are you doing with the whole love thing? I know for sure that I am doing a pretty sucky job at it. I'm a judgmental, self righteous person I feel like. I need this poem just as much as the next guy in line. On top of that, What about Christians? Are WE doing a good job of loving others? I'm inclined to think that we're not....any way, I'm done rambling. Here's the poem.

Maybe The Hippies had it Right...

Maybe the Hippies had it right

Maybe the weed smokin, “love your brother” two fingered salute had a point

maybe that’s just what we need

But wait

“Love your brother”

I've heard that somewhere before,

Matthew 22 says it all.

I've heard this spoken

from the mouths of liars and hypocrites

myself

included

So when, just when will our eyes be open

when can we set down the guns and hold hands

dancing in meadows, putting daisies in our hair?

When can we run abandoned across borders

both social and national,

without the fear of having a cross-hair upon our brow

When can we love like Hippies?

Well some say, we are fallen creatures

We sin. And that’s true.

I am no better than Hitler or Stalin.

Everyone of us is the slayer of the most important part of life.

Love

But does that mean that we need to keep butchering this gift?

Are we to be constantly pulling the trigger into the heart which makes ours beat?

No. I say again. Not ever again.

Put down the hate and resentment.

Just read the teachings of Paul

He’ll teach you all you need to know about Love

What it is.

How to do it.

So when, just when will our eyes be open

when can we set down the guns and hold hands

dancing in meadows, putting daisies in our hair?

When can we run abandoned across borders

both social and national,

without the fear of having a cross-hair upon our brow

When can we love like Hippies?

It starts today friends.

In your heart, in your day to day lives.

A friend once told me….
“It’s a grass roots movement.

It starts here(the self) and grows outwards, like wild fire.”

When can we love like Hippies? You tell me.

Love. Outrageous, ridiculous, amazing Love.

Hey guys, I just want you to think about one thing right now. Love. God's love to be exact. Just think about it for a second. After this, I'm almost positive you'll be saying the exact same thing I do whenever it really hits me, and that is, "How can I not be laughing with joy and screaming this Love out for all the world to hear?" Okay, so here we go.

We have this guy, his name is God, Yaweh if you want to be technical. He also goes by Jehovah, father, El Shadai, deliverer, friend, confidant, and many other things. Anyway, so we have God. He is huge. He is mammoth. He is so big tat we can not even begin to comprehend him. he is, in fact, infinite. We are finite beings, we are restricted in time and space, God isn't. He is outside of that. He is bigger than that. He friggen created it for crying out loud. On top of creating time, he created the universe, and not just the milky way. It created light years upon light years worth of space. We, at the grand scheme things, are small, insignificant specks in this universe, being catapulted around a big burning ball of fire year in and year out by the earth. How can we matter at all? It's because God made us, and Loves us. Friggen A, God made us and loves us. I'm literally shaking right now with joy at just that thought. But there is more. We, as a creation, decided, "Phht. eff God. We don't need him. We'll do it our way. We know what's best for us anyway. We are significant because we are on this earth. We are significant because of ourselves." Not because what God did, no, our big heads are too big for that. we are too selfish and get too wrapped up in what we're doing for ourselves, that we miss what God is doing. So, we have this great creator, who created time and space itself, and also created us to have a relationship with him, because he loves his creation so fricken much. Then we, the insignificant looking specks that we are, decided that we don't need him anymore. (This next bit I kind of touched on last time I wrote) Then, does he decide, "Phhht eff humans. I don't need them. I have time and space and the angels and pretty much everything I could ever want or need here at my very beckon and call."? heck no he doesn't. He decides, "No, I love my creation. They are mine. I will always love them no matter what they do. They are mine. I will bring them back to me. I will turn their eyes back to me." Enter Jesus. He comes to the world, God incarnate. God decides that he is going to personally come down to earth, as another insignificant looking speck, and actually breath and walk among us. He actually prayed for humanity. He shared meals with humanity. He laughed and cried with humanity. Above all, he loved Humanity. Then, there came a time where humans decided it was a good idea to kill God because they didn't like what He had to say. It was too personal. It was attacking their own selfish desires and wants. Does God decide, "Phht, whatever. I came down to walk and talk with you and show you how cool I am in the flesh and you still want to kill me? Later suckers."? Nope, he goes up on that cross and he dies. To show us his great love. He died to conquer death and show us the way of life. Through that death he immortalized his Love in such a way that it has turned countless eyes back to him, and countless more are yet to turn their eyes to Him still.

Now here comes the interesting part. Jesus came for the weak, the weary, the cold hearted, the thief and the criminal, the murderer, the priest, the young child, the wealthy lord, the kings of the nations, and so many  more. Jesus came for both the bad and the good. All because he loves us all, so freaking outrageously. There is no precedent for this amount of love. To put it in terms that really hit home. God came and died for me, and you, and the pastor down the street, and the con-man, and the rapist, and the pedophiles. He came for the drug dealers, the perfect house wife, the heroine addicts, the church goers. He even come and died for the likes of Hitler, and Stalin, and all of the other fear/war/death mongering dictators of our age, as well as ages past. He came and died simply because He Loves every single one of us and wants us to turn our eyes back to him. Fricken Hitler man! He came and died and rose again for Fricken Hitler. God Loves Hitler! It doesn't matter what we do. God loves us, and has grace enough for us.Freaking outrageous right? That's just the beginning though.

(If you haven't picked up that alot of this is my own personal theology yet then you should now. I say this because I want you to know that this is simply how I feel. You might not think the same way. That is alright. We all experience God differently. Don't take my word for truth. look into this stuff yourself, and really dig into what you believe about God. Figure out your own theologies.)

When our time comes and we are lifted into God's courts to be with him forever, we will be also in the presence of all the other believers from history. Abraham, Moses, Zacheus. But beyond that, We will be able to worship God, at least I hope, with brothers and sisters in Christ like Hitler, who have lived lives of fear and death. (see, my own theology is coming out now.) Jesus came to the earth and conquered death. If he conquered death, how then could death prevent salvation? I don't think that God was kidding when he said he came to redeem the entire world. I don't think the bible is kidding when it says every single knee shall bow and every single tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord. If that's the case, then Jesus is so loving and so merciful and so fricken powerful, that he can redeem the likes of Hitler. Holy freaking crap?
That is some freaking outrageous love.

Guys, Love is what it is all about. God's love for us is so great. It stretches across the cosmos beyond time and space, and reaches into the very depths of darkness where it seems no light will ever shine. Guys, God loves us.